Jesse takes a seat in the Manchester studio where we just shot his cover, still seemingly full of energy. Having wrapped our 4-hour shoot there’s an essence of calm in the air, something we embrace as we start to delve into Jesse’s experiences with mental health. We start with the topic I see best to tackle and almost put to bed, aware of the triggers that can come in tow talking about mental health. That being said, Jesse seems prepared, almost determined to be able to share his experiences and how he’s come out the other side a year on from first opening up about his mental health. With football having a chequered past when it comes to abuse both on and off the pitch, I question the factors that surround mental health in football such as toxic masculinity. I wondered about the moment Jesse found himself acknowledging he was slightly out of his depth and in need of support for his mental health and how sharing his experiences has encouraged others reach out for support.

“I was going through games with the craziest of feelings. It wasn’t me. It was almost an out-of-body experience. I was so low that during the games I wasn’t doing that well and I was getting so much stick from the press and fans. So, it was the right time to speak to the manager at the time, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, to get it off my chest, and to go to the doctor as well. I really got the support I needed, especially from my mum. Opening up was hard enough, I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, but as soon I opened up it was a breath of fresh air, I felt miles better. I would encourage people to open up. Since speaking about my experiences I’ve had a lot of other players reach out to me privately for advice. It’s something I’m glad I can help with. I think we’re in a time and a generation where a lot more people are starting to come forward and speak about it. Obviously, back in the day, there were a lot of mental health issues like you say to do with toxic masculinity, people didn’t want to come out and talk about it, but I think this generation nowadays is getting a lot better at it. It really does make it easier speaking to a family member, friend, or doctor to get things off your chest and I’ve seen that in those coming to me for advice and support.”

Having experienced racial abuse over moments in his career I can only imagine the brutality involved from the public and press. Since finding support for his mental health it’s apparent how strong Jesse has become in the last year alone in coping with the challenges that have presented themselves, it’s something I imagine he can partially put down to realising the negative triggers and factors that have impacted him at times.

“It’s a really important thing the environment around you. Especially where you live, where I lived when you went downstairs, I didn’t get a lot of light in the room. In the morning when I woke up I would always keep the curtains closed. It’s always the little things that have an effect on you. Since then I’ve learned so much about my mental health and what helps, for example when I get up in the morning I straightaway open the blinds for some light, I try to always be active and focus on the little things that can change your whole mood. I’ve always been on about positivity, I read a book called Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King Who’s a good friend and it’s opened me up to so many different to do with positivity.”

Since having challenges with his mental health Jesse has shown such character in trying to manage how he’s feeling without it fully taking over his life. It’s something so important for his fans and loved ones to see not only from his point of view but by showing others the possibility that you can live life fullest in tandem whilst having wobbles with your mental health. It’s clear Jesse’s blossomed since and has adopted a whole host of positive habits with his previous move to Westham making way to some healthy coping mechanisms, one I’m keen to ask about being whiteboards.

“One of the boards are the games we have and how many shots, goals or assists and another of the boards are things or words that have meant things to me in the past, be it from growing up or things that I can see every day before I walk out the door, that I can log into,  it’s all positive or things that can help my confidence which was useful especially when I was on my loan at Westham, it helped massively.”

Being a father, I ask Jesse if it’s nice or even a silver lining knowing that through his experiences he feels comfortable in his understanding of mental health when it comes to not only supporting his daughter but also the positive effect she has had on him.

“She’s a huge comfort. Every time I’m with her I forget about everything else. I love spending time with her, she takes my mind away from football and everything else that surrounds it. So, you know, she’s obviously helped. And, as you say from my experiences god forbid I have to but I know I’ll be able to support her through anything.”

There’s no question about Jesse’s dedication when it comes to Hope his daughter, he is clearly the doting dad keen to install positivity and good energy in not just her but next generation.

“It’s so important to me to be positive and energetic. Especially for the younger generation who look up to me, I’m a role model for a lot of people. It’s important for the future and obviously for the next generation especially my daughter. I want her to feel like she can be anything she wants to be. Obviously, I will try and give her all the tools In the world but I still want her work hard, not just everything on a plate, you have to earn and work hard for certain things. But I want her to believe she can do anything she wants in the future.”